Senator Hillary Comes Over To The Dark Side

For those of you that missed it, here are some of the highlights from Hillary’s speech last night:

“For many years, this country has been built up by the immigrants. They came to Ellis Island with hopes and dreams. They worked long days and nights to fulfill those dreams, and in the process they made our great country the place it is today.”

“However, now, the time for immigrants is over! We don’t need or want them in our country. They bring in disease, poverty, and crime. They swarm over the borders like locust. Its time to pass new laws restricting all but the richest immigrants!”

“If I am elected President, I will do my best to employ a ruthless border control police force with the permission to shoot all offenders!”

“I propose that Ellis Island be turned into a museum celebrating the success of the great pride of our country… MICROSOFT!”

“Microsoft has done more for the United States than the immigrants have… We need to honor those that have truely served our country…”

 

Its amazing what a few campaign donations can do…

TODO: Arrange a meeting between Ballmer and Hillary.

I Don’t Get It

There seems to be a bug in Leopard…

FCEOW 07 Pictures

I’m sure that all of you have already seen Fake Steve Ballmer’s pictures of FCEOW 07, and were wondering where “Where’s Fake Bill?” The truth is, I wasn’t in any of the pictures on Fake Steve’s blog. In order to keep my Secret Identity secret, I showed up in a Darth Vader costume. Steve Ballmer also was worried about revealing his secret identity, so he showed up as Darth Maul. Here’s some pictures:

Thats me on the right and thats Steve on the left.

Me again!

That me, Fake Ballmer (after he took off his costume), and a random security guard.

As you can see, I had a great time. At one point, the real George W. Bush even showed up. (He got confused and thought that he was fake George W.B.) I have to convince Fake Ballmer to throw these conferences more often.

The only problem was that some people mistakenly thought that I was Fake Vader. They didn’t seem to understand that I was Fake Bill with the Fake secret identity of Fake Vader! Perhaps it was for the best anyway, because all of my Fake Stormtroopers were elsewhere, and I don’t think that I would have been able to deal with all of the fans myself.

About halfway through the party, I showed off a magic trick (where I used the “force”) and Fake Ballmer (still dressed up as Fake Darth Maul) got pissed that I was getting all the attention. He ripped off his costume, threw a few chairs, screamed “Developers!”, stormed away, and got drunk. He later got kicked out of his own party by the security guards who thought that he was Fake Fake Steve Ballmer. You can see him without his costume in the last picture above. He’s the dude on the left.

Blasphemy!

This poster was found here. Please contact your senator today, and let them know that you won’t stand for outrages like this in our country. Take action to protect your children from harmful propaganda!

Apple Copied Us!

Check out the picture below. The two images on the top are screenshots of the Windows Live website, and the Windows live banner. The image on the left is a close up of the Windows Live sidebar.

On the right side are two of the default desktop backgrounds that come with every Mac. Notice any similarities? I might not have matched up things perfectly, but one thing is clear: Apple took our Windows Live design, expanded our images on the sides, and claimed that it was their own work! Thats it! Apple won’t get away with it this time! And this time we’re not willing to settle outside of court!

If You Buy A Mac… You Will Get Explosive Diarrhea

Thats right, all Mac users have bladder problems. (As well as many other problems that I can’t even begin to describe.) Why else would this widget be the number two widget on Apple.com?

This is almost enough to make me pity Steve Jobs! Almost. Hopefully there are a lot of toilets at Apple HQ in Cupertino, CA.

As a special bonus to all yeh faithful blog-readers, all copies of Vista ordered today come with a free gps potty locater to replace the one on your Mac! Order yours today on Microso$ft.com/special%20deal/poop-a-scooper.dll. 

Hmm… perhaps all Mac users have a FATAL BUFFER OVERLOAD ERROR IN OUTPUT.DLL. Or would that be an error with /sbin/dump?

The Day That We All Await Eagerly

Source

Windows Security

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Windows Server 2008

We just announced the exact release date for Windows Server 2008. New features include a command line version of Clippy, out of the box support for usb keyboards, and a new .net function to perfor a msn search. More details about Clippy will be announced in the following weeks…

Shh…

Don’t tell anyone, but I personally am responsible for this. Go ahead Canonical, sue me! I really don’t care. I can pay the price, but can you? Do you dare pay the price for upsetting Microsoft?