Anti Communism

July 11, 2007

UPDATE: PLEASE IGNORE THIS POST! THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY STEVE BALLMER! HE HACKED INTO MY BLOG AND WROTE IT!

Due to the huge wave of anti Micro$oft, open source loving, ****ing Russian communists that are visiting this website, we (Micro$oft), for the entire world’s sake, have decided to launch a huge new wave of anti communism warfare!

We’ve invested millions in the defense industry, and look forward to huge profits from the upcoming war that we intend to start between the U.S. and the Soviet Union. We’re currently activating a virus that we included in Vista.

The U.S. government is now experiencing technical problems that they believe are caused by Russian hackers.

Now is the time to invest! Invest in Micro$oft now, and you’ll make billions! Now is a time of amazing opportunity! Don’t believe what the communist Steve Jobs tells you. Steve Jobs is part of a communist plot to blow up New York city! Act now before it is too late!

Invest in Micro$oft today and get a free gas mask! LONG LIVE STEVE BALLMER!And always remember…

 open source is communism!

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The zitPhone

July 2, 2007

Today we’ve got another big announcement to make here at Microsoft: The iPhone is NOTHING! Thats right. The iPhone is absolutely nothing compared to what we’re about to release today. Today we’re announcing the release of a totally new next generation gadget. Today we’re introducing the zitPhone. 

 Zit Phone 2

Remember, you heard it here first.


The zPhone

June 8, 2007

Right now, there’s a lot of excitement on the internet about the iPhone. I just don’t get it. There’s absolutely nothing to be excited about. The iPhone sucks! Its a typical Apple product (it looks ugly and is hard to use).

As the richest man on Earth, I’d like to make a personal request: Please stop getting excited about the iPhone and start getting excited about the zPhone. The zPhone is a next generation phone made by Microsoft. It runs Microsoft Vista Useless Edition For Stupid Portable Devices, and it supports some of the more exciting Windows features, such as DLL files, and the Blue Screen Of Death. Here’s a picture:

zPhone

I’ll be posting more about it later.