Hello, everyone. My name is Bill Gates, and I have over ten million times more money than you. I created Windows, the most advanced operating system in existence, after I dropped out of high school. All I ever learned in school anyways was how to get credit for other people’s work (and I do that very well).
I have severe ADHD. I am hyperactive and can’t stay focused for long periods of time. People tell me that I have somewhat of a split personality and that I change moods very fast.
I hate to break it to you, but no matter what you do, I’ll always have more money than you. To tell you the truth, I make more money in a second than you do in an entire day. Before I get sidetracked, let mention one more thing. Every one of the hundreds of lawyers that I employ are telling me that its absolutely necessary to have a disclaimer. If you absolutely must read it then you can find it here.
Anyways, because I’m so rich, every day one hundred random strangers ask me for money. Every year, I give one or two of the suckers some money to help my reputation. I even started a foundation to decide which sucker gets the money. Why not? Anyways, after I give a few of them money, I tell the rest of them to go and get a job and a life. The ones who stay and whine are removed forcibly.
I’ve thought of creating a blog before, but I always decided it wasn’t worth it. Why should I, Bill Gates, the richest man to have ever lived, spend my precious time writing about my life so that some idiot on the other side of the globe can read it. Blogging doesn’t pay well, and even if it did, I certainly don’t need the money. As I already said, I make hundreds of thousands of dollars every day by doing nothing. Why should I waste my time blogging? Its the stupidest idea I ever heard of. In fact, I fired the last guy that recommended it to me.
That is what I used to think. Then I saw this website. Wow! Bad move by me. I’m taking medicine to overcome my severe ADHD, but it all broke down. I totally lost control. Stupid Little Steve Jobs, that ugly little bugger that messed up my life, has his own blog. Not only that, but he has been making fun of me on a daily basis. Even worse, he’s been making fun of Vista. He is such an ungrateful brat. I created the computer (or close enough anyways) and he has the chutzpah to go and make fun of me.
If he can blog, than so can I! He may try to brainwash you into buying a Mac, but I’ll stop him! I’ll beat him at his own game! You watch and see. Down with El Jobso! LONG LIVE MICROSOFT