Shh… Secret Experiments On Humans In China

November 19, 2007

Secret Human Experiments In China

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Anti Communism

July 11, 2007

UPDATE: PLEASE IGNORE THIS POST! THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY STEVE BALLMER! HE HACKED INTO MY BLOG AND WROTE IT!

Due to the huge wave of anti Micro$oft, open source loving, ****ing Russian communists that are visiting this website, we (Micro$oft), for the entire world’s sake, have decided to launch a huge new wave of anti communism warfare!

We’ve invested millions in the defense industry, and look forward to huge profits from the upcoming war that we intend to start between the U.S. and the Soviet Union. We’re currently activating a virus that we included in Vista.

The U.S. government is now experiencing technical problems that they believe are caused by Russian hackers.

Now is the time to invest! Invest in Micro$oft now, and you’ll make billions! Now is a time of amazing opportunity! Don’t believe what the communist Steve Jobs tells you. Steve Jobs is part of a communist plot to blow up New York city! Act now before it is too late!

Invest in Micro$oft today and get a free gas mask! LONG LIVE STEVE BALLMER!And always remember…

 open source is communism!


I’m Such A Nice Person

May 15, 2007

A bunch of you were emailing my foundation and telling me that I should give money for DCA research. DCA is a chemical that some scientists believe can cure cancer quickly and painlessly. Its cheep and unpatented, so no pharmacy wants to invest money to research it. Because of your emails, I just donated five million dollars to the organization that is researching it.

All of you should stop emailing me now, and shut up. Why don’t you go and give some money yourself. By the way, I didn’t do it for your sake. I did it in case I ever get cancer.