Apple Copied Us!

September 10, 2007

Check out the picture below. The two images on the top are screenshots of the Windows Live website, and the Windows live banner. The image on the left is a close up of the Windows Live sidebar.

On the right side are two of the default desktop backgrounds that come with every Mac. Notice any similarities? I might not have matched up things perfectly, but one thing is clear: Apple took our Windows Live design, expanded our images on the sides, and claimed that it was their own work! Thats it! Apple won’t get away with it this time! And this time we’re not willing to settle outside of court!

Apple copied us


Windows Live Translator

September 10, 2007

Check it out, Windows live translator has gone public. Now I can stop using that slimy Google translator that doesn’t even work!

Anti Communism

July 11, 2007


Due to the huge wave of anti Micro$oft, open source loving, ****ing Russian communists that are visiting this website, we (Micro$oft), for the entire world’s sake, have decided to launch a huge new wave of anti communism warfare!

We’ve invested millions in the defense industry, and look forward to huge profits from the upcoming war that we intend to start between the U.S. and the Soviet Union. We’re currently activating a virus that we included in Vista.

The U.S. government is now experiencing technical problems that they believe are caused by Russian hackers.

Now is the time to invest! Invest in Micro$oft now, and you’ll make billions! Now is a time of amazing opportunity! Don’t believe what the communist Steve Jobs tells you. Steve Jobs is part of a communist plot to blow up New York city! Act now before it is too late!

Invest in Micro$oft today and get a free gas mask! LONG LIVE STEVE BALLMER!And always remember…

 open source is communism!

Matt Is A Jerk

May 20, 2007

As I’ve blogged about multiple times over the past month, Microsoft may buy All of the key people at Microsoft (specifically me, Ballmer, and Ozzie) are willing to go ahead and buy The only thing that we’re waiting for is a reply from I attemped to contact Matt, the CEO of Automattic (the company that owns, without success. After multiple attempts, all I got out of him was one email reply that made no sense. I’m getting desperate. I promised Melinda (my wife) that Microsoft would buy and she would get to be its director. As a last resort, today I tried contacting him on AIM. Here’s the chat:

Me: Hello

Me: So, are you planning on ignoring all of our attempts to contact you?

Me: I guess so…

Me: If you do decide to answer then you can contact me directly at Microsoft (extension 2) or via my blog

Me: I really hope you don’t turn down this opportunity. It would truly be a pity for both us if you turned down this offer.

The jerk just ignored me and made me look like a fool. I’ll get him back some day… Both him and Steve Jobs are going to regret what they’ve done…

Please Do Me A Favor!

May 15, 2007

UPDATE: Please ignore this post. It wasn’t posted by me! A jerk called Steve Ballmer (who works for me) wrote it without my permission!

Bill Gates Moaning

We (Microsoft) are getting desperate. Google handled 54% of U.S. web searches, and MSN handled 10% last month. We have to do something.

Please, please, please, do us a big favor. Its easy and simple. Please help me mess up Google. Google makes all of their money off of ads. If you block the ads, then they don’t make money. Here’s a really easy guide on how to block the ads on Google. Thanks, and LONG LIVE MSN!

Btw, Steve Ballmer is The Best! He is the smartest person ever! ALL HAIL BALLMER!