I Don’t Get It

October 26, 2007

There seems to be a bug in Leopard…

Leopard “bug”


Ubuntu Gummy Gibbon- The Poem

October 19, 2007


 ubuntu logo

In honor of Ubuntu 7.10 (Gummy Gibbon) I’ve decided to make a poem for all of you Linux freaks users…

Ugly design 

Bad looking 

Unsightly “Human” look 


Ten thousand viruses 

Ununderstandable by normal people 




Terribly confusing 

Sudo and other strange things 

You should use Vista instead 



Install it on a Mac and not on Windows 

Beware of the wobbly windows

Bash is for weirdos- real geeks use ms-dos

Only freaks use fast user switching and Firefox extensions

No more simplicity and single desktops


FCEOW 07 Pictures

October 6, 2007

I’m sure that all of you have already seen Fake Steve Ballmer’s pictures of FCEOW 07, and were wondering where “Where’s Fake Bill?” The truth is, I wasn’t in any of the pictures on Fake Steve’s blog. In order to keep my Secret Identity secret, I showed up in a Darth Vader costume. Steve Ballmer also was worried about revealing his secret identity, so he showed up as Darth Maul. Here’s some pictures:

Darth Vader and Darth Maul
Thats me on the right and thats Steve on the left.

Darth Vader
Me again!

Darth outside

That me, Fake Ballmer (after he took off his costume), and a random security guard.

As you can see, I had a great time. At one point, the real George W. Bush even showed up. (He got confused and thought that he was fake George W.B.) I have to convince Fake Ballmer to throw these conferences more often.

The only problem was that some people mistakenly thought that I was Fake Vader. They didn’t seem to understand that I was Fake Bill with the Fake secret identity of Fake Vader! Perhaps it was for the best anyway, because all of my Fake Stormtroopers were elsewhere, and I don’t think that I would have been able to deal with all of the fans myself.

About halfway through the party, I showed off a magic trick (where I used the “force”) and Fake Ballmer (still dressed up as Fake Darth Maul) got pissed that I was getting all the attention. He ripped off his costume, threw a few chairs, screamed “Developers!”, stormed away, and got drunk. He later got kicked out of his own party by the security guards who thought that he was Fake Fake Steve Ballmer. You can see him without his costume in the last picture above. He’s the dude on the left.

Good Times…

October 4, 2007

Imagine my surprise when I booted up my computer this morning, went to everybody’s favorite website, and saw this: 

Geeky picture of me

Hmm… It seems like someone at Microsoft (probably Ballmer) went digging around in the pile of old photos on my desk, and stole a picture without my permission. I’m not too annoyed (I simply look amazing in that picture) but I’ll get him back tomorrow by placing this on Microsoft.com’s home page:

I’m Back!

October 3, 2007

As many of you realized, I wasn’t in the Bahamas after all. I was actually at the FCEOW (Fake CEOs Of The World) Conference in an undisclosed secret location. For security reasons I was forced to lie (all of my Fake Bodyguards are busy right now) and tell all of you that I was going to the “Bahamas.”

In other news… You can expect a news release later today about some new Zunes (think “Zune Nano”), but I’ll talk more about that later when its official. 

One of my Jewish friends has invited me to this Simchat Tora thing where we run around in circles around the Tora (not to be confused with the Hora). Chag Sameach!