Ubuntu Gummy Gibbon- The Poem

October 19, 2007

 

 ubuntu logo

In honor of Ubuntu 7.10 (Gummy Gibbon) I’ve decided to make a poem for all of you Linux freaks users…

Ugly design 

Bad looking 

Unsightly “Human” look 

No BSODs 

Ten thousand viruses 

Ununderstandable by normal people 

 

Geeky

Useless 

Terribly confusing 

Sudo and other strange things 

You should use Vista instead 

 

Gnome-thingy 

Install it on a Mac and not on Windows 

Beware of the wobbly windows

Bash is for weirdos- real geeks use ms-dos

Only freaks use fast user switching and Firefox extensions

No more simplicity and single desktops

  


If You Buy A Mac… You Will Get Explosive Diarrhea

August 28, 2007

Thats right, all Mac users have bladder problems. (As well as many other problems that I can’t even begin to describe.) Why else would this widget be the number two widget on Apple.com?

Public Toilet Locater

This is almost enough to make me pity Steve Jobs! Almost. Hopefully there are a lot of toilets at Apple HQ in Cupertino, CA.

As a special bonus to all yeh faithful blog-readers, all copies of Vista ordered today come with a free gps potty locater to replace the one on your Mac! Order yours today on Microso$ft.com/special%20deal/poop-a-scooper.dll. 

Hmm… perhaps all Mac users have a FATAL BUFFER OVERLOAD ERROR IN OUTPUT.DLL. Or would that be an error with /sbin/dump?


Shh…

July 12, 2007

Don’t tell anyone, but I personally am responsible for this. Go ahead Canonical, sue me! I really don’t care. I can pay the price, but can you? Do you dare pay the price for upsetting Microsoft?