Make Your Own MS Ad Contest And Win $$$$

November 29, 2007

I’ll admit it: We’re out of ideas. No matter how hard we try, people are being influenced by Apple’s ads and are making bad decisions.

Therefore, I’m happy to announce the User Created Ad Contest.You create an ad for any M$ product, submit it, have it judged by a select panel of biased bloggers, win prizes and money, and lose/use it all on a new computer.

More information and details will follow. Right now, we’re looking for sponsors.


Dell XPS Completely KILLS the iMac

November 21, 2007

Yup, you got that right.

I just got off the zitFone with Michael Dell and he told me the good news. There’s no longer any need to buy those slimy iMacs in order to get an all-in-one computer. Dell is now shipping the XSP PSX PXS XPS All In One. Check it out…

It even runs Vista! Thats one thing those slippery iMacs cant do out of the box.

I’ll leave it to Fake Ballmer to write a biased review. In the meantime, here’s a picture.

dell imac


Shh… Secret Experiments On Humans In China

November 19, 2007

Secret Human Experiments In China


Senator Hillary Comes Over To The Dark Side

November 15, 2007

For those of you that missed it, here are some of the highlights from Hillary’s speech last night:

“For many years, this country has been built up by the immigrants. They came to Ellis Island with hopes and dreams. They worked long days and nights to fulfill those dreams, and in the process they made our great country the place it is today.”

“However, now, the time for immigrants is over! We don’t need or want them in our country. They bring in disease, poverty, and crime. They swarm over the borders like locust. Its time to pass new laws restricting all but the richest immigrants!”

“If I am elected President, I will do my best to employ a ruthless border control police force with the permission to shoot all offenders!”

“I propose that Ellis Island be turned into a museum celebrating the success of the great pride of our country… MICROSOFT!”

“Microsoft has done more for the United States than the immigrants have… We need to honor those that have truely served our country…”

 statue of gates

Its amazing what a few campaign donations can do…

TODO: Arrange a meeting between Ballmer and Hillary.


Mr. Microsoft Zune

November 6, 2007

Remember that dude that got a Zune tattoo a while ago? He’s back! This time he’s changing his name to “Microsoft Zune.”

 zune tattoo

Oh, yah!  GO ZUNE GO!


All Your Laptop Are Belong To Us

November 2, 2007

laptop

I don’t know how many of you remember that ridiculous $100 laptop that the  dorks at MIT were working on. (You know, the one with the crank thingy.) At the time, I commented “Geez, get a decent computer where you can actually read the text and you’re not sitting there cranking the thing while you’re trying to type,” and The last thing you want for a shared-use computer is for it to be something without a disk, and with a tiny little screen.”

As you all know, its been my long term goal as the world biggest philanthropist to put “a computer on every disk in every house, running Microsoft software.”

Anyway, we’ve decided to be nice and “allow” (pronounced “force”) the project to put Windows XP (specifically not Vista) on the laptop.