SP1, Oh Baby!

Woohoo! We did it (at last)!

Windows Vista Security- er, Service Pack 1 was  just released into the wild. In order of importance, the new features are the following:

(The list of features is taken from the official press release. (Really.))

• Removes 20 second delay when pressing Ctrl Alt Del on certain machines.
• Windows Explorer (usually) no longer freezes if you browse the network
• Most of the time, the machine no longer hangs when emerging from hibernation mode.
• The ‘Pause for 15 seconds before connecting to the network’ feature (this feature is strangely present in every version but Ultimate) has (temporarily) been removed.

Lets look at what the fanboys are saying:

“Windows Vista SP1 lacks any compelling ‘must haves,’ and, in most cases, doesn’t significantly improve performance (in some cases, it even degrades performance).
The bottom line: While it’s always good to install the latest code for any operating system, installing the Windows Vista SP1 update will require some casual users to spend a few hours without any visible or tangible improvements to their systems.”

-C|Net 

“If you fast-forward to 2015, and then look-back; I bet that Vista’s SP1 will be hailed as a classic example of waiting until the first service pack before deploying an operating system. Thus if you have not deployed Vista, then wait until next spring and expect a smooth migration from XP.”

– ComputerPerformance.co.uk

“Opening Windows Explorer for the first time in a session (which on my desktop took at least a full 30 seconds, and as long as a full minute) now takes an ‘acceptable’ 10 to 15 seconds… Microsoft also boasts about speed improvements in Internet Explorer 7… I found no proof of the former.”

 – PC Magazine

In the spirit of celebration, we put up some Vista jokes for y’all over here.

Head over to Microsucks.com and get your copy.

Um, anyone?

Please? We’ll give you free support.

Oh well. 😦

CES Pictures

Hello from the Moon

I know I haven’t blogged in a while. There have been several attempts on my life in the past few months. In order to escape, I chartered a private rocket to the moon, and I’m writing this post via NASA’s wireless network. (Seriously, the username and password were both “admin” and it took me under a day to hack in.)

In order to throw off the would be assasins, it was necessary to fake my death before I left Earth. The current opinion among Earthlings is that I’m dead. I’m about to broadcast this post over NASA’s Active SETI satellites, so I got to run.

Check Before You Buy

This a quick public service announcement because I don’t have much time. Don’t expect many posts this coming week or two.

Please be a responsible buyer and check before you buy. No, I don’t mean Vista. I’m talking about Apple computers. Check out this website.

Bug: Windows Randomly Plays Classical Music

Its actually a “feature” and not a bug, but they’re close enough. Check it out here on the M$ support page.

Make Your Own MS Ad Contest And Win $$$$

I’ll admit it: We’re out of ideas. No matter how hard we try, people are being influenced by Apple’s ads and are making bad decisions.

Therefore, I’m happy to announce the User Created Ad Contest.You create an ad for any M$ product, submit it, have it judged by a select panel of biased bloggers, win prizes and money, and lose/use it all on a new computer.

More information and details will follow. Right now, we’re looking for sponsors.

Dell XPS Completely KILLS the iMac

Yup, you got that right.

I just got off the zitFone with Michael Dell and he told me the good news. There’s no longer any need to buy those slimy iMacs in order to get an all-in-one computer. Dell is now shipping the XSP PSX PXS XPS All In One. Check it out…

It even runs Vista! Thats one thing those slippery iMacs cant do out of the box.

I’ll leave it to Fake Ballmer to write a biased review. In the meantime, here’s a picture.

Shh… Secret Experiments On Humans In China

Senator Hillary Comes Over To The Dark Side

For those of you that missed it, here are some of the highlights from Hillary’s speech last night:

“For many years, this country has been built up by the immigrants. They came to Ellis Island with hopes and dreams. They worked long days and nights to fulfill those dreams, and in the process they made our great country the place it is today.”

“However, now, the time for immigrants is over! We don’t need or want them in our country. They bring in disease, poverty, and crime. They swarm over the borders like locust. Its time to pass new laws restricting all but the richest immigrants!”

“If I am elected President, I will do my best to employ a ruthless border control police force with the permission to shoot all offenders!”

“I propose that Ellis Island be turned into a museum celebrating the success of the great pride of our country… MICROSOFT!”

“Microsoft has done more for the United States than the immigrants have… We need to honor those that have truely served our country…”

 

Its amazing what a few campaign donations can do…

TODO: Arrange a meeting between Ballmer and Hillary.

Mr. Microsoft Zune

Remember that dude that got a Zune tattoo a while ago? He’s back! This time he’s changing his name to “Microsoft Zune.”

 

Oh, yah!  GO ZUNE GO!