The following was copied from my first post. I should probably have written up something different, but I don’t have time. In the time I took to write this one sentence I made a few hundred dollars. Jealous? Welcome to the real world. When asked in a survey, 80% of America said that they wish they were me. Its a one way road. I definitely don’t wish to be you.
My name is Bill Gates, and I have over ten million times more money than you. I created Windows, the most advanced operating system in existence, after I dropped out of high school. All I ever learned in school anyways was how to get credit for other people’s work (and I do that very well).
I have severe ADHD. I am hyperactive and can’t stay focused for long periods of time. People tell me that I have somewhat of a split personality and that I change moods very fast.
I like Star Wars, and my personal role model is Darth Vader.
I hate to break it to you, but no matter what you do, I’ll always have more money than you. To tell you the truth, I make more money in a second than you do in an entire day. Before I get sidetracked, let mention one more thing. Every one of the hundreds of lawyers that I employ are telling me that its absolutely necessary to have a disclaimer. If you absolutely must read it then you can find it here.
Anyways, because I’m so rich, every day one hundred random strangers ask me for money. Every year, I give one or two of the suckers some money to help my reputation. I even started a foundation to decide which sucker gets the money. Why not? Anyways, after I give a few of them money, I tell the rest of them to go and get a job and a life. The ones who stay and whine are removed forcibly.
I’ve thought of creating a blog before, but I always decided it wasn’t worth it. Why should I, Bill Gates, the richest man to have ever lived, spend my precious time writing about my life so that some idiot on the other side of the globe can read it. Blogging doesn’t pay well, and even if it did, I certainly don’t need the money. As I already said, I make hundreds of thousands of dollars every day by doing nothing. Why should I waste my time blogging? Its the stupidest idea I ever heard of. In fact, I fired the last guy that recommended it to me.
That is what I used to think. Then I saw this website. Wow! Bad move by me. I’m taking medicine to overcome my severe ADHD, but it all broke down. I totally lost control. Stupid Little Steve Jobs, that ugly little bugger that messed up my life, has his own blog. Not only that, but he has been making fun of me on a daily basis. Even worse, he’s been making fun of Vista. He is such an ungrateful brat. I created the computer (or close enough anyways) and he has the chutzpah to go and make fun of me.
If he can blog, than so can I! He may try to brainwash you into buying a Mac, but I’ll stop him! I’ll beat him at his own game! You watch and see. Down with El Jobso! LONG LIVE MICROSOFT
July 18, 2007 at 5:52 am
DONT HURT IT!!
July 19, 2007 at 4:55 am
@Christopher:
Why not?
July 19, 2007 at 10:28 am
I take that back, kill the stupid thing, thats only a generation 4 Ipod muahahahah, out with the old in with the new
August 10, 2007 at 1:59 pm
is good to be good Bill, pls Bill but kind to them again
remain bless
August 10, 2007 at 2:02 pm
God bless a cheerfull giver,do it to them again.
August 10, 2007 at 2:15 pm
pls sir,we are impress by ur invention,what ever he did, he will not reach you, so forgive and forget about him. God sees all things.
August 28, 2007 at 12:21 am
Very Interesting.
September 3, 2007 at 8:34 am
This is my favorite blog, swear Bill.
September 6, 2007 at 7:00 am
Hey Bill, why does your Microsoft website SUCK?
I thought the webmasters debugged it BEFORE they published it…
Next time, I’m switching over to Mac.
I’ve had it with greedy Micro$oft.
Pointless Validations, BSODS, RSODS and failures. Nothing else in Windows.
September 10, 2007 at 7:50 am
… Invest in Mac today and get a FREE IPOD! LONG LIVE EL JOBSO! …
October 18, 2007 at 3:48 am
hi mr bill gate my name is horysha iam 14 years old and iam the oldest, my mom
is a singal parent with 4 kids trying so hard to make it, she’s a good mom she help
hungry kids even thought she don’t have it, for 7 years she been trying to run a cleaning services but stell don’t reach no where.we have a 2 bed room apartment
and sometimes we can fine the rent so please bill gate would you kindly help us!!!
October 26, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Hey Bill how ya d0in? Hope u enjoy putting a few more thousand bugs in Vista SP1 yo!! Lol
October 31, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Rahul! Not funny! i mean all u’re saying is…what?!
November 29, 2007 at 4:48 am
you know what even if you have a millions times money than us,you can’t carry those evil source they call money in heaven!!god will take those money to you instantly when youre dead you ass hole!!!
December 2, 2007 at 6:55 pm
I am interested in the design contest. Looks like an interesting, yet a bit of a suprising place to stumble upon a blog.
I am seeking employment, if anyone should offer. I will post more
December 2, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Don’t worry, I’ll post more about it later.
I don’t know about the job, though…
December 20, 2007 at 2:26 pm
So here is my blog!!! Buy Windows Vista. Once, I went to a golf club to play golf, Buy Windows Vista. and they told me I had to wear a collared shirt. Buy Windows Vista. Can you believe that?! Buy Windows Vista. So I went across the street and bought out all the land there and made a bigger and better golf course Buy Windows Vista. so I could put the other one out of business. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Serves him right for not letting me play in my pink speedo. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista.
January 5, 2008 at 7:13 am
DON’T KILL iPOD!!! iPod is good.
DONT BUY VISTA!!! Buy Windows XP
Vista is such a headace
January 10, 2008 at 5:44 am
Hi Bill,
Glad your outa here, we’re not going to miss you or your lousy windows. I despise the fact you stole everything away from ME who invented the personal computer. I am not ordering you dead but I can’t help it if MacGuy is on a mission.
I know we can never takeover MicroSoft and I am glad I cannot. I mean who would want to lead such a so called group of MBA’s who have NO CLUE how to create software that doesn’t require a gazillion patches. We have finally figured out you are doing all this in the name of ‘buy another operating system’. Once security flaws are finally foundout (which ones you placed there on purpose) and viruses are eradicated you create another one just to scare people into buying and upgrading. This is the ‘genius’ and what you all the ‘magic’ of software. If you were really about performance you would fix all these things before releasing games but we see the real deal, it is all a big game, I mean your TELLING us that!
May God have mercy on your soul. You better start giving it to those poor lil nigerians maybe your days in hell might be a little less fiery.
February 8, 2008 at 12:31 am
APPLE RULES!!!!
February 27, 2008 at 2:27 pm
hi my name is yonas i am 16 years old i am doing sciences and there is a sciences exspo so i have to do some thing for that can you give me some advise
February 27, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Hi there Bill!
Haven’t you heard about laser technology? You know, things that can be done to fix your eyesight so you don’t have to wear eyeglasses anymore. Just curious…
March 2, 2008 at 1:22 am
All ya suckers are just jealous cause he made it and you are all strugglin with ure lifes…My gosh why catn ya just leave him alone…
March 17, 2008 at 8:06 pm
bill gates, your a fucking moron!
March 18, 2008 at 4:16 pm
If your real Bill I used to here about, Please! these words may seems to be Stupid to you but please. If I will have a chance to your world to be helped. Please I need persue a post graduate diploma in wild life Management at Mweka College -Moshi Tanzania. The cost is USD 6,000. Please assist me.
Damas
March 22, 2008 at 3:12 am
The reason you’re so rich is that you enjoy ripping people off don’t you? You’re clever Mr. Gates you really are, at least most of us WORK for our money not sit around and bathe in it like you do, what do you make sir? $10,000 a second? Well good for you do you think I care? No because I feel so bad that I sit here and type this and you’re making $10,000 every second and I’m using this ripoff Microsoft crap, helping you make more money, you are a big rich ass dropout that could care less about anything else except what falls into your wallet, ain’t that right? I’m going to switch to Apple soon and help them make more money. You know Gates, if you had a heart you might donate some money to charities and help people WAY less fortunate than you have happier lives think about it, what if you had to live in a cardboard box, ha I bet you wouldn’t last five minutes without your money. If this comment offended you well than from all the people who hate you, FUCK YOU! Thanks for your time in reading this.
March 25, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Hi! what is your secret behind your success?
March 25, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Blue cheese.
April 10, 2008 at 4:18 am
Hi Mr. Gates
April 14, 2008 at 4:18 am
Carefully, some that have no good name, than to destroy the better name of Bill gate are outside their countries all over the world doing nothing than destroy the good name, my people i lost alot when some thing that is not real look like a real somethings it take along journey to detect it was bad see me on, i don’t what anybody to fall in the hand of this man again, so i have to write this.
FROM:DR JOHNSON ANDERMAN
MICROSOFT AWARD TEAM
20 CRAVEN PARK,
HARLESDEN,
LONDON,NW10,ENGLAND,
UNITED KINGDOM.
TELEPHONE:+44-703-190-5161,
+44-703-191-4087
CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
DEAR WINNER,
MICROSOFT CORPORATION MANAGEMENT WORLDWIDE ARE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU
THAT
YOU ARE A WINNER OF OUR NEW YEAR 2008 MS-WORD LOTTERY CONDUCTED IN
LONDON,
UNITED KINGDOM BEING THE HOST OF THE EVENT FOR THIS PRESENT YEAR MEGA
JACKPOT LOTTO WINNING PROGRAMS HELD ON 08TH FEBRUARY. 2008.
YOUR PERSONAL E-MAIL ADDRESS OR COMPANY EMAIL WAS ATTACHED TO
MSW LL. WITH SERIAL NUMBER S/N-00168 DREW THE LUCKY NUMBERS 08-17- 24-
33-
49 BONUS 44 AND CONSEQUENTLY WON IN THE FIRST LOTTERY CATEGORY. YOU
HAVE
THEREFORE BEEN APPROVED FOR LUMP SUMS OF US$1, 000, 000. 00 (ONE
MILLION
UNITED STATES DOLLARS) ONLY PAYABLE IN CASH CREDITED TO FILE REF NO:
MSW-L/200-26937 THIS IS FROM TOTAL PRIZE MONEY OF
US$79, 110, 000. 00 SHARED AMONG THE LUCKY INTERNATIONAL WINNERS IN
FIRST,
SECOND, THIRD AND FORTH CATEGORIES AS BELOW:
CATEGORY NO.OF WINNERS WINNING PRIZES
1ST. 22 USD$1,000,000.00 EACH
2ND. 38 USD$800,000.00 EACH
3RD. 43 USD$470,000.00 EACH
4TH. 50 USD$170,000.00 EACH
ALL PARTICIPANTS WERE SELECTED FROM WORLDWIDE WEBSITES THROUGH OUR
MICROSOFT COMPUTER BALLOT SYSTEM DRAWN FROM 21,000, 000 NAMES,
3,000,000
NAMES FROM EACH CONTINENT ( ASIA, AUSTRALIA, NORTH AMERICA, SOUTH
AMERICA,
EUROPE, MIDDLE EAST AND AFRICA) AS PART OF INTERNATIONAL “E-MAIL”
PROMOTIONS PROGRAM, WHICH IS CONDUCTED ANNUALLY FOR OUR PROMINENT MS
-WORD
USERS ALL OVER THE WORLD, AND TO ENCOURAGE THE USE OF INTERNET AND
COMPUTERS WORLDWIDE.
YOUR FUND HAS BEEN INSURED WITH YOUR REF NO: MSW-L/200-26937 AND WILL
BE
READY FOR DELIVERY TO YOU BY ONE OF OUR CLAIM AGENT IN CHARGE OF YOUR
ZONE
(MR. DOUGLAS MASHABA). YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS SHOULD BE USED IN ALL
CORRESPONDENCE WITH YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER, PLEASE NOTE THAT, YOU ARE TO
CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER VIA EMAIL AND PHONE AS WE ARE PROMOTING THE
USE OF E-MAIL. ALSO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL HIM TO CONFIRM YOUR
WINNINGS AS HE WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE NECESSARY DETAILS ON HOW TO
CLAIM YOUR PRIZE.
AS PART OF OUR SECURITY PROTOCOL YOU ARE TO INDICATE THE FOLLOWING TO
THE
CLAIM AGENT WHEN FILLING LOTTERY YOUR CLAIMS:
1. YOUR SECURITY CODE : MSW/JBT/XX08
2. YOUR NAME
3. TELEPHONE/MOBILE NO.
4. YOUR ADDRESS
DETAIL OF OUR CLAIM OFFICER IS AS FOLLOWS:
Claim Agent: Douglas Mashaba,
Douglas Mashaba &Associates
Solicitors, Conveyancers & Notary Public
Email Address:
douglasmashaba_associates@hotmail.com ,
douglasm_chambers@myway.com
Telephone: +27 73 243 9985
Address: 4th Floor, Elephant House
107 Market St. Cnr. Von Williegh
Johannesburg 2001,
South Africa
REMEMBER, ALL PRIZE MONEY MUST BE CLAIMED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. ALL
FUNDS
NOT CLAIMED ON OR BEFORE THE FIXED DATE WILL BE RETURNED AS UNCLAIMED
AND
DONATED TO CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION IN AFRICA AND TO SOME ASIAN
COUNTRIES.
KINDLY CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER MR. DOUGLAS MASHABA, ONCE YOU
RECEIVE
THIS MAIL FOR VALIDATION OF YOUR WINNING WITHIN FOURTEEN WORKING DAYS
(14 DAYS) OF WHICH THE OFFICER (MR. DOUGLAS MASHABA) MAY ASK YOU TO
PROVIDE SOME DETAILS TO ENABLE THE HIS OFFICE PROCEED WITH THE
PROCESSING
AND PAYMENT OF YOUR LOTTERY WINNING PRIZE.
CONGRATULATIONS, ONCE MORE FROM THE ENTIRE MANAGEMENT AND STAFF OF
MICROSOFT CORPORATION TO ALL OUR LUCKY WINNERS THIS YEAR. THANK YOU FOR
BEING PART OF THIS PROMOTIONAL LOTTERY PROGRAM. OUR SPECIAL THANKS AND
GRATITUDE TO BILL GATE OF MICROSOFT AND ALL HIS ASSOCIATES FOR
ALLEVIATING
POVERTY ROUND THE WORLD.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
DR JOHNSON ANDERMAN.
MICROSOFT PROMOTION TEAM
VICE PRESIDENT
June 6, 2008 at 8:32 am
here, is a motivasitional message to bill gates.
last year, i took part in an essay competition. when i was about to pass up my essay, the teacher scolded me. wanna know why? thats because he accused me copied my essay from my schoolmates. when i ask him who, she told me there was a girl from the same class with me had pass up earlier than me. the girl used to be my competitor. i met her and told her that she had stole my essay and she showed no action. i told her, taking credits of others people works just shows a sign that youre a desperate girl.
now, the message that i wanna tell you, is youre showing sign of desperate. i feel sorry for you. eventhough youre now the richest man, you might be smart, but youre not as genius as steve jobs.
for me, although that girl won and got the credits from my work, but i got the satisfaction.
thank you.
June 12, 2008 at 10:55 am
So it wasn’t a custard pie, it was a BLUE CHEESE PIE !!!
June 20, 2008 at 10:40 am
hi sir, i am a student of BBA and i keep a lot of interest in the world of business, sir i really respect u sir as i know what u hav given to this world is infinite, more than u i still respect ur brain which forced u to leave ur school at tender age and invent this miracle thing which is working like magic on globe….. i dont need ur money or ur wealth, i dont even need a hug from u, iam not even interested to steal any of ur ideas from ur brain…..BUT IF U REPLY ME I WILL BE REALLY THANKFUL TO U SIR, THE ONCE U REPLY ME AT MY HOME ADDRESS HOW HAPPY I WILL BE I CANT EXPRESS IT … I THINK UR AUTOGRAPH WILL BE A BENCHMARK FOR ME…. THANKING YOU
YOURS LOVING
June 25, 2008 at 4:51 am
matthew 16:18, rome 16:16, isa. 46:11, isa. 43:5-6
June 25, 2008 at 5:06 am
acts 20:28, matthew 16:18, rome 16:16, isa. 46:11, isa. 43:5-6 the thing that you will not understand….
August 16, 2008 at 1:20 pm
i went to Mac awhile back cause you and your products suck. Mac simply doesnt have the number of problems your products have. As for the money, well you said it your self; its really stolen. It should have never been yours in the first place.
September 6, 2008 at 10:27 pm
I wanted a bit of advice. I have a lot of good ideas about technology; anti-grav, a warp device, clean and stable nuclear power. Unfortunately I have no friends, no money, no job, no connections, and a useless degree in Economics. How would you suggest I go about making my dreams reality and help the world in my own way, consequentially attaining the status of billionaire such as yourself?
September 9, 2008 at 2:59 am
Dear, Bill Gates
My Dream to become Rich Someday..to Help my Family in Poverty.
I don’t know how to start. what will i do. what the secret to become rich!
Plz Help me Mr, Bill Gates Im Francis from the Philippines!
October 3, 2008 at 10:57 pm
i’m his biggest fan and i’m a SUPER GEEK too
October 3, 2008 at 11:00 pm
oh ya and hi i’m your biggest fan and NOT becouse your rich send me a e-mail @ fuge502@aim.com thanks
October 3, 2008 at 11:02 pm
hey tohes where at 6:59pm, 7:00pm and 7:02pm