About

The following was copied from my first post. I should probably have written up something different, but I don’t have time. In the time I took to write this one sentence I made a few hundred dollars. Jealous? Welcome to the real world. When asked in a survey, 80% of America said that they wish they were me. Its a one way road. I definitely don’t wish to be you.

My name is Bill Gates, and I have over ten million times more money than you. I created Windows, the most advanced operating system in existence, after I dropped out of high school. All I ever learned in school anyways was how to get credit for other people’s work (and I do that very well).

I have severe ADHD. I am hyperactive and can’t stay focused for long periods of time. People tell me that I have somewhat of a split personality and that I change moods very fast.

I like Star Wars, and my personal role model is Darth Vader.

I hate to break it to you, but no matter what you do, I’ll always have more money than you. To tell you the truth, I make more money in a second than you do in an entire day. Before I get sidetracked, let mention one more thing. Every one of the hundreds of lawyers that I employ are telling me that its absolutely necessary to have a disclaimer. If you absolutely must read it then you can find it here.

Anyways, because I’m so rich, every day one hundred random strangers ask me for money. Every year, I give one or two of the suckers some money to help my reputation. I even started a foundation to decide which sucker gets the money. Why not? Anyways, after I give a few of them money, I tell the rest of them to go and get a job and a life. The ones who stay and whine are removed forcibly.

I’ve thought of creating a blog before, but I always decided it wasn’t worth it. Why should I, Bill Gates, the richest man to have ever lived, spend my precious time writing about my life so that some idiot on the other side of the globe can read it. Blogging doesn’t pay well, and even if it did, I certainly don’t need the money. As I already said, I make hundreds of thousands of dollars every day by doing nothing. Why should I waste my time blogging? Its the stupidest idea I ever heard of. In fact, I fired the last guy that recommended it to me.

That is what I used to think. Then I saw this website. Wow! Bad move by me. I’m taking medicine to overcome my severe ADHD, but it all broke down. I totally lost control. Stupid Little Steve Jobs, that ugly little bugger that messed up my life, has his own blog. Not only that, but he has been making fun of me on a daily basis. Even worse, he’s been making fun of Vista. He is such an ungrateful brat. I created the computer (or close enough anyways) and he has the chutzpah to go and make fun of me.

If he can blog, than so can I! He may try to brainwash you into buying a Mac, but I’ll stop him! I’ll beat him at his own game! You watch and see. Down with El Jobso! LONG LIVE MICROSOFT

Me shooting an iPod

59 Responses to About

  1. Bill Gates says:

    @Christopher:
    Why not?

    • Ramel says:

      Hi sir…

      i admire people who succeed as a result of their sweat and hard work…

      i’ve been trying to be like you in term of hard work. but how i strive, opportunity seems to be aloof to me.

      i want help from good hearted people like you through a scholarship you might offer to the less fortunate like me and can’t afford to study in college and get a good course.

      hoping for your kindness..

      Ramel

  2. Christopher says:

    I take that back, kill the stupid thing, thats only a generation 4 Ipod muahahahah, out with the old in with the new

  3. Rufus says:

    is good to be good Bill, pls Bill but kind to them again
    remain bless

  4. Balbam says:

    God bless a cheerfull giver,do it to them again.

  5. Balbam says:

    pls sir,we are impress by ur invention,what ever he did, he will not reach you, so forgive and forget about him. God sees all things.

  6. Michael says:

    Very Interesting.

  7. This is my favorite blog, swear Bill.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hey Bill, why does your Microsoft website SUCK?

    I thought the webmasters debugged it BEFORE they published it…

    Next time, I’m switching over to Mac.
    I’ve had it with greedy Micro$oft.

    Pointless Validations, BSODS, RSODS and failures. Nothing else in Windows.

  9. THE BSOD says:

    … Invest in Mac today and get a FREE IPOD! LONG LIVE EL JOBSO! …

  10. horysha says:

    hi mr bill gate my name is horysha iam 14 years old and iam the oldest, my mom
    is a singal parent with 4 kids trying so hard to make it, she’s a good mom she help
    hungry kids even thought she don’t have it, for 7 years she been trying to run a cleaning services but stell don’t reach no where.we have a 2 bed room apartment
    and sometimes we can fine the rent so please bill gate would you kindly help us!!!

  11. Rahul Dowlath says:

    Hey Bill how ya d0in? Hope u enjoy putting a few more thousand bugs in Vista SP1 yo!! Lol

  12. Nimesh says:

    Rahul! Not funny! i mean all u’re saying is…what?!

  13. jones says:

    you know what even if you have a millions times money than us,you can’t carry those evil source they call money in heaven!!god will take those money to you instantly when youre dead you ass hole!!!

  14. Matt B says:

    I am interested in the design contest. Looks like an interesting, yet a bit of a suprising place to stumble upon a blog.

    I am seeking employment, if anyone should offer. I will post more

  15. Bill Gates says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll post more about it later.

    I don’t know about the job, though…

  16. Bill Gates says:

    So here is my blog!!! Buy Windows Vista. Once, I went to a golf club to play golf, Buy Windows Vista. and they told me I had to wear a collared shirt. Buy Windows Vista. Can you believe that?! Buy Windows Vista. So I went across the street and bought out all the land there and made a bigger and better golf course Buy Windows Vista. so I could put the other one out of business. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Serves him right for not letting me play in my pink speedo. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista. Buy Windows Vista.

  17. Spade says:

    DON’T KILL iPOD!!! iPod is good.
    DONT BUY VISTA!!! Buy Windows XP ;)
    Vista is such a headace

  18. Steve Jobs says:

    Hi Bill,

    Glad your outa here, we’re not going to miss you or your lousy windows. I despise the fact you stole everything away from ME who invented the personal computer. I am not ordering you dead but I can’t help it if MacGuy is on a mission.

    I know we can never takeover MicroSoft and I am glad I cannot. I mean who would want to lead such a so called group of MBA’s who have NO CLUE how to create software that doesn’t require a gazillion patches. We have finally figured out you are doing all this in the name of ‘buy another operating system’. Once security flaws are finally foundout (which ones you placed there on purpose) and viruses are eradicated you create another one just to scare people into buying and upgrading. This is the ‘genius’ and what you all the ‘magic’ of software. If you were really about performance you would fix all these things before releasing games but we see the real deal, it is all a big game, I mean your TELLING us that!

    May God have mercy on your soul. You better start giving it to those poor lil nigerians maybe your days in hell might be a little less fiery.

  19. URMA says:

    APPLE RULES!!!!

  20. yonas says:

    hi my name is yonas i am 16 years old i am doing sciences and there is a sciences exspo so i have to do some thing for that can you give me some advise

  21. Youandme says:

    Hi there Bill!

    Haven’t you heard about laser technology? You know, things that can be done to fix your eyesight so you don’t have to wear eyeglasses anymore. Just curious…

  22. RedPowerPuffPimp says:

    All ya suckers are just jealous cause he made it and you are all strugglin with ure lifes…My gosh why catn ya just leave him alone…

  23. dan says:

    bill gates, your a fucking moron!

  24. Damas says:

    If your real Bill I used to here about, Please! these words may seems to be Stupid to you but please. If I will have a chance to your world to be helped. Please I need persue a post graduate diploma in wild life Management at Mweka College -Moshi Tanzania. The cost is USD 6,000. Please assist me.
    Damas

  25. Jon says:

    The reason you’re so rich is that you enjoy ripping people off don’t you? You’re clever Mr. Gates you really are, at least most of us WORK for our money not sit around and bathe in it like you do, what do you make sir? $10,000 a second? Well good for you do you think I care? No because I feel so bad that I sit here and type this and you’re making $10,000 every second and I’m using this ripoff Microsoft crap, helping you make more money, you are a big rich ass dropout that could care less about anything else except what falls into your wallet, ain’t that right? I’m going to switch to Apple soon and help them make more money. You know Gates, if you had a heart you might donate some money to charities and help people WAY less fortunate than you have happier lives think about it, what if you had to live in a cardboard box, ha I bet you wouldn’t last five minutes without your money. If this comment offended you well than from all the people who hate you, FUCK YOU! Thanks for your time in reading this.

  26. Sunil says:

    Hi! what is your secret behind your success?

  27. K.L says:

    Hi Mr. Gates

  28. Isola Olusanjo says:

    Carefully, some that have no good name, than to destroy the better name of Bill gate are outside their countries all over the world doing nothing than destroy the good name, my people i lost alot when some thing that is not real look like a real somethings it take along journey to detect it was bad see me on, i don’t what anybody to fall in the hand of this man again, so i have to write this.

    FROM:DR JOHNSON ANDERMAN
    MICROSOFT AWARD TEAM
    20 CRAVEN PARK,
    HARLESDEN,
    LONDON,NW10,ENGLAND,
    UNITED KINGDOM.
    TELEPHONE:+44-703-190-5161,
    +44-703-191-4087

    CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    DEAR WINNER,

    MICROSOFT CORPORATION MANAGEMENT WORLDWIDE ARE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU
    THAT
    YOU ARE A WINNER OF OUR NEW YEAR 2008 MS-WORD LOTTERY CONDUCTED IN
    LONDON,
    UNITED KINGDOM BEING THE HOST OF THE EVENT FOR THIS PRESENT YEAR MEGA
    JACKPOT LOTTO WINNING PROGRAMS HELD ON 08TH FEBRUARY. 2008.

    YOUR PERSONAL E-MAIL ADDRESS OR COMPANY EMAIL WAS ATTACHED TO
    MSW LL. WITH SERIAL NUMBER S/N-00168 DREW THE LUCKY NUMBERS 08-17- 24-
    33-
    49 BONUS 44 AND CONSEQUENTLY WON IN THE FIRST LOTTERY CATEGORY. YOU
    HAVE
    THEREFORE BEEN APPROVED FOR LUMP SUMS OF US$1, 000, 000. 00 (ONE
    MILLION
    UNITED STATES DOLLARS) ONLY PAYABLE IN CASH CREDITED TO FILE REF NO:
    MSW-L/200-26937 THIS IS FROM TOTAL PRIZE MONEY OF
    US$79, 110, 000. 00 SHARED AMONG THE LUCKY INTERNATIONAL WINNERS IN
    FIRST,
    SECOND, THIRD AND FORTH CATEGORIES AS BELOW:

    CATEGORY NO.OF WINNERS WINNING PRIZES
    1ST. 22 USD$1,000,000.00 EACH
    2ND. 38 USD$800,000.00 EACH
    3RD. 43 USD$470,000.00 EACH
    4TH. 50 USD$170,000.00 EACH

    ALL PARTICIPANTS WERE SELECTED FROM WORLDWIDE WEBSITES THROUGH OUR
    MICROSOFT COMPUTER BALLOT SYSTEM DRAWN FROM 21,000, 000 NAMES,
    3,000,000
    NAMES FROM EACH CONTINENT ( ASIA, AUSTRALIA, NORTH AMERICA, SOUTH
    AMERICA,
    EUROPE, MIDDLE EAST AND AFRICA) AS PART OF INTERNATIONAL “E-MAIL”
    PROMOTIONS PROGRAM, WHICH IS CONDUCTED ANNUALLY FOR OUR PROMINENT MS
    -WORD
    USERS ALL OVER THE WORLD, AND TO ENCOURAGE THE USE OF INTERNET AND
    COMPUTERS WORLDWIDE.

    YOUR FUND HAS BEEN INSURED WITH YOUR REF NO: MSW-L/200-26937 AND WILL
    BE
    READY FOR DELIVERY TO YOU BY ONE OF OUR CLAIM AGENT IN CHARGE OF YOUR
    ZONE
    (MR. DOUGLAS MASHABA). YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS SHOULD BE USED IN ALL
    CORRESPONDENCE WITH YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER, PLEASE NOTE THAT, YOU ARE TO
    CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER VIA EMAIL AND PHONE AS WE ARE PROMOTING THE
    USE OF E-MAIL. ALSO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL HIM TO CONFIRM YOUR
    WINNINGS AS HE WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE NECESSARY DETAILS ON HOW TO
    CLAIM YOUR PRIZE.

    AS PART OF OUR SECURITY PROTOCOL YOU ARE TO INDICATE THE FOLLOWING TO
    THE
    CLAIM AGENT WHEN FILLING LOTTERY YOUR CLAIMS:

    1. YOUR SECURITY CODE : MSW/JBT/XX08
    2. YOUR NAME
    3. TELEPHONE/MOBILE NO.
    4. YOUR ADDRESS

    DETAIL OF OUR CLAIM OFFICER IS AS FOLLOWS:

    Claim Agent: Douglas Mashaba,
    Douglas Mashaba &Associates
    Solicitors, Conveyancers & Notary Public
    Email Address:
    douglasmashaba_associates@hotmail.com ,
    douglasm_chambers@myway.com
    Telephone: +27 73 243 9985
    Address: 4th Floor, Elephant House
    107 Market St. Cnr. Von Williegh
    Johannesburg 2001,
    South Africa
    REMEMBER, ALL PRIZE MONEY MUST BE CLAIMED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. ALL
    FUNDS
    NOT CLAIMED ON OR BEFORE THE FIXED DATE WILL BE RETURNED AS UNCLAIMED
    AND
    DONATED TO CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION IN AFRICA AND TO SOME ASIAN
    COUNTRIES.

    KINDLY CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER MR. DOUGLAS MASHABA, ONCE YOU
    RECEIVE
    THIS MAIL FOR VALIDATION OF YOUR WINNING WITHIN FOURTEEN WORKING DAYS
    (14 DAYS) OF WHICH THE OFFICER (MR. DOUGLAS MASHABA) MAY ASK YOU TO
    PROVIDE SOME DETAILS TO ENABLE THE HIS OFFICE PROCEED WITH THE
    PROCESSING
    AND PAYMENT OF YOUR LOTTERY WINNING PRIZE.

    CONGRATULATIONS, ONCE MORE FROM THE ENTIRE MANAGEMENT AND STAFF OF
    MICROSOFT CORPORATION TO ALL OUR LUCKY WINNERS THIS YEAR. THANK YOU FOR
    BEING PART OF THIS PROMOTIONAL LOTTERY PROGRAM. OUR SPECIAL THANKS AND
    GRATITUDE TO BILL GATE OF MICROSOFT AND ALL HIS ASSOCIATES FOR
    ALLEVIATING
    POVERTY ROUND THE WORLD.

    YOURS FAITHFULLY,

    DR JOHNSON ANDERMAN.
    MICROSOFT PROMOTION TEAM
    VICE PRESIDENT

  29. donna says:

    here, is a motivasitional message to bill gates.

    last year, i took part in an essay competition. when i was about to pass up my essay, the teacher scolded me. wanna know why? thats because he accused me copied my essay from my schoolmates. when i ask him who, she told me there was a girl from the same class with me had pass up earlier than me. the girl used to be my competitor. i met her and told her that she had stole my essay and she showed no action. i told her, taking credits of others people works just shows a sign that youre a desperate girl.

    now, the message that i wanna tell you, is youre showing sign of desperate. i feel sorry for you. eventhough youre now the richest man, you might be smart, but youre not as genius as steve jobs.

    for me, although that girl won and got the credits from my work, but i got the satisfaction.

    thank you.

  30. The BSOD says:

    So it wasn’t a custard pie, it was a BLUE CHEESE PIE !!!

  31. ajaz says:

    hi sir, i am a student of BBA and i keep a lot of interest in the world of business, sir i really respect u sir as i know what u hav given to this world is infinite, more than u i still respect ur brain which forced u to leave ur school at tender age and invent this miracle thing which is working like magic on globe….. i dont need ur money or ur wealth, i dont even need a hug from u, iam not even interested to steal any of ur ideas from ur brain…..BUT IF U REPLY ME I WILL BE REALLY THANKFUL TO U SIR, THE ONCE U REPLY ME AT MY HOME ADDRESS HOW HAPPY I WILL BE I CANT EXPRESS IT … I THINK UR AUTOGRAPH WILL BE A BENCHMARK FOR ME…. THANKING YOU
    YOURS LOVING

  32. jeffrey nazarro says:

    matthew 16:18, rome 16:16, isa. 46:11, isa. 43:5-6

  33. jeffrey nazarro says:

    acts 20:28, matthew 16:18, rome 16:16, isa. 46:11, isa. 43:5-6 the thing that you will not understand….

  34. august says:

    i went to Mac awhile back cause you and your products suck. Mac simply doesnt have the number of problems your products have. As for the money, well you said it your self; its really stolen. It should have never been yours in the first place.

  35. Andrew says:

    I wanted a bit of advice. I have a lot of good ideas about technology; anti-grav, a warp device, clean and stable nuclear power. Unfortunately I have no friends, no money, no job, no connections, and a useless degree in Economics. How would you suggest I go about making my dreams reality and help the world in my own way, consequentially attaining the status of billionaire such as yourself?

  36. Francis007 says:

    Dear, Bill Gates
    My Dream to become Rich Someday..to Help my Family in Poverty.
    I don’t know how to start. what will i do. what the secret to become rich!
    Plz Help me Mr, Bill Gates Im Francis from the Philippines!

  37. Nathan says:

    i’m his biggest fan and i’m a SUPER GEEK too

  38. Nathan says:

    oh ya and hi i’m your biggest fan and NOT becouse your rich send me a e-mail @ fuge502@aim.com thanks

  39. Nathan says:

    hey tohes where at 6:59pm, 7:00pm and 7:02pm

  40. Barry nam vet says:

    Mr GATE, WISH YOU WELL IN YOUR FOUNDATION TO HELP THE WORLD.. WHY YOU WHERE WORKING HARD TO EARN THOSE MILLIONS.. i WAS DEFENDING YOUR RIGHT TO EARN THOSE MILLIONS…. WOULD i LIKE TO BE YOU NO…

    BUT SURE WOULD LIKE TO BE ONE OF THOSE SO CALLED SUCKER THAT YOU CALL THEM THAT COME TO YOU FOR MONEY… WHY SO i COULD GO OUT AND HELP AND BUILD MEDICAL CENTER AND SCHOOL, FOR THOSE THAT WILL NEVER LIKELY HAVE THOSE THINGS IN THE ASIA COUNTRIES.

    YOU HAVE THE MONEY SO LIKE i SAID GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR FOUNDATION TO HELP THE WORLD

  41. you idiots!
    all of you asking for money or an email!
    havent u read the disclaimer?
    and anyway , 1. This isnt the real BIll
    2. Even if it was, not that I’m a windows fan, he has better things to do than blog( like bathe in money and photoshop Steve)
    Macs Rule!!!
    PCs Suck!

  42. Being very rich man is also my dream……
    Everybodies dream….
    well i have best friend…she always stole mine…..my hand made and anything…dunno why all of my test result become her…she make me desperate…..
    nobody honest…and i was forced to be not too….
    hurt….coz that is not my real trait and good….
    i get lost in everywhere…not only money….but anything….what i should do ?? i need u to motivate me….iam not looser…..i hate that gals….

  43. MacsSuckAssBigTime says:

    All you Mac users can suck a fart outta my arse. Over and out ya limey bastards.

  44. archaeme says:

    The iPod sucks BIG TIME!!!

  45. phamm09 says says:

    Today in class I was watching a movie about you and Steve. Not sure what to think and I have to write a paper about both you.This whole prossces can be confusing to one who has no computer skills but needs to learn about her PC.Why can the two of you work together and become one company. Thank you

  46. David Campo says:

    Stop sending spies on Cheryl Beger.

  47. Lena says:

    Hi,

    I’m from France and would like to join your company,
    most of all in order to work and join a fair company.
    Thanks for any answer.
    Kindly yours,

  48. Huzair says:

    hi bill gates,
    can u open your gate so that everybody can share your money

  49. ajay says:

    hi sir,
    if its really u….
    i wanted to know the books u will suggest for me to be a rich

  50. shadi zoom 777 says:

    Hello Bill Gates, I’m very impressed with your company Microsoft will tell you something do not listen to those people who abuse the
    The world’s largest bet you that most of them use the Windows system and you owe them so much, but they feeding cats and a blind eye
    But my friend this reprint rights they are jealous of you because of huge fortune if they want to say something first of all your past Velinzero that while you
    Establish that the giant company and you are at a young age were playing ball with their friends I respect you so much and I respect each person’s ambition
    Changed the world of mind is not loud people who talk about the irony of your wealth Give them a few dollars and see them they will become simply
    For friends you that man, my friend will finally draw the high respect to you, Bill Gates

  51. Deepak says:

    “READ FOR HUMANITY”

    i know this world is damn worst,, i know that this world is really unfair and we have to get used to it. you may not believe me but Mr gates you are my ideal personality since i was 12 and now i am 19.. i dont believe this is real bilgates,, anyway i am posting these all things for my ideal gates not a fraud using his name. i always wanted to be like you and i believe that i can be like you aswell. i dont know whether you have said all these things in diary or some fraud did this. i am from nepal, one of the most undeveloped country in the world but one of the most beautiful country aswell. i know to be like you sounds impossible but i think i can reach somehow near to you after all you are my ideal and i will do everything you have done in your life. lets see and hope one day there will be next bilgates in the name of “DEEPAK”. and i promise if i become world richest like you then i will give my son a name “BILGATES”. dats all for now…………..

  52. anthony piliotas says:

    have a nice day to you sir! your reputation speaks your greatness on how you improve your life. i need job, please open an opportunity for me to improve my life. hope for your favorable response! humbly yours,.

  53. Santhosh Kumar says:

    Don’t cry for money Guys… Love money for the sake of Loving it… Don’t try to become rich to wash ur problems… Dats sick… Become rich for the fun of becoming rich!!
    -Sansoftaus!!

  54. rhia says:

    hi mr. bill gates. i admire you. how did you do it?

  55. bill gates
    u should not stop now.coz u r now 56 stop when than u will 75.

  56. Aneri says:

    bill sir i wnt to thnk u..coz u r d inspiration of young youth thnk u so mch sir…

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