Steve Jobs

June 1, 2007

Yesterday, at the D5 Conference, I had an interview with Walter Mossberg and Steve Jobs. The interview actually went surprisingly smoothly. I managed to control my severe ADHD, and I restrained myself from punching Steve in the face. He deserved it all right, but it would have been stupid for me to do it.

Steve smiled and pretended to be nice, but I know it was all an act. He wants my money. I know it. I can tell just by looking at him. Don’t be mistaken. There’s no peace between us. I’ll get him back. You watch and see. I’ll have my revenge. Just wait and see…

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Me VS Steve Jobs

May 23, 2007

I’m feeling kind of bored today. I think my ADHD is starting back up. Anyways, here’s a short video I found…


Get A Mac Spoofs

May 20, 2007

Yes! I finally have an answer to Apple’s “Get a Mac” ads! Next time Steve Jobs sends me a snotty little email about how Macs are better, I’ll send him this…

There are more spoofs here.


Matt Is A Jerk

May 20, 2007

As I’ve blogged about multiple times over the past month, Microsoft may buy WordPress.com. All of the key people at Microsoft (specifically me, Ballmer, and Ozzie) are willing to go ahead and buy WordPress.com. The only thing that we’re waiting for is a reply from WordPress.com. I attemped to contact Matt, the CEO of Automattic (the company that owns WordPress.com), without success. After multiple attempts, all I got out of him was one email reply that made no sense. I’m getting desperate. I promised Melinda (my wife) that Microsoft would buy WordPress.com and she would get to be its director. As a last resort, today I tried contacting him on AIM. Here’s the chat:

Me: Hello

Me: So, are you planning on ignoring all of our attempts to contact you?

Me: I guess so…

Me: If you do decide to answer then you can contact me directly at Microsoft (extension 2) or via my blog fakebill.wordpress.com

Me: I really hope you don’t turn down this opportunity. It would truly be a pity for both us if you turned down this offer.

The jerk just ignored me and made me look like a fool. I’ll get him back some day… Both him and Steve Jobs are going to regret what they’ve done…