We’ve got a big announcement for you today. After years of research and development that cost billions of dollars, today we’re proud to introduce a new, revolutionary, and innovative product: Microsoft Word For Blondes Edition.
My name is Bill Gates, and I have over ten million times more money than you. I created Windows, the most advanced operating system in existence, after I dropped out of high school. Some people hate hypocrisy; I thrive on it. You can read my full biography here.