SP1, Oh Baby!

Woohoo! We did it (at last)!

Windows Vista Security- er, Service Pack 1 was  just released into the wild. In order of importance, the new features are the following:

(The list of features is taken from the official press release. (Really.))

• Removes 20 second delay when pressing Ctrl Alt Del on certain machines.
• Windows Explorer (usually) no longer freezes if you browse the network
• Most of the time, the machine no longer hangs when emerging from hibernation mode.
• The ‘Pause for 15 seconds before connecting to the network’ feature (this feature is strangely present in every version but Ultimate) has (temporarily) been removed.

Lets look at what the fanboys are saying:

“Windows Vista SP1 lacks any compelling ‘must haves,’ and, in most cases, doesn’t significantly improve performance (in some cases, it even degrades performance).
The bottom line: While it’s always good to install the latest code for any operating system, installing the Windows Vista SP1 update will require some casual users to spend a few hours without any visible or tangible improvements to their systems.”

-C|Net 

“If you fast-forward to 2015, and then look-back; I bet that Vista’s SP1 will be hailed as a classic example of waiting until the first service pack before deploying an operating system. Thus if you have not deployed Vista, then wait until next spring and expect a smooth migration from XP.”

- ComputerPerformance.co.uk

“Opening Windows Explorer for the first time in a session (which on my desktop took at least a full 30 seconds, and as long as a full minute) now takes an ‘acceptable’ 10 to 15 seconds… Microsoft also boasts about speed improvements in Internet Explorer 7… I found no proof of the former.”

 - PC Magazine

In the spirit of celebration, we put up some Vista jokes for y’all over here.

Head over to Microsucks.com and get your copy.

Um, anyone?

Please? We’ll give you free support.

Oh well.

Make Your Own MS Ad Contest And Win $$$$

I’ll admit it: We’re out of ideas. No matter how hard we try, people are being influenced by Apple’s ads and are making bad decisions.

Therefore, I’m happy to announce the User Created Ad Contest.You create an ad for any M$ product, submit it, have it judged by a select panel of biased bloggers, win prizes and money, and lose/use it all on a new computer.

More information and details will follow. Right now, we’re looking for sponsors.

Shh…

Don’t tell anyone, but I personally am responsible for this. Go ahead Canonical, sue me! I really don’t care. I can pay the price, but can you? Do you dare pay the price for upsetting Microsoft?

Anti Communism

UPDATE: PLEASE IGNORE THIS POST! THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY STEVE BALLMER! HE HACKED INTO MY BLOG AND WROTE IT!

Due to the huge wave of anti Micro$oft, open source loving, ****ing Russian communists that are visiting this website, we (Micro$oft), for the entire world’s sake, have decided to launch a huge new wave of anti communism warfare!

We’ve invested millions in the defense industry, and look forward to huge profits from the upcoming war that we intend to start between the U.S. and the Soviet Union. We’re currently activating a virus that we included in Vista.

The U.S. government is now experiencing technical problems that they believe are caused by Russian hackers.

Now is the time to invest! Invest in Micro$oft now, and you’ll make billions! Now is a time of amazing opportunity! Don’t believe what the communist Steve Jobs tells you. Steve Jobs is part of a communist plot to blow up New York city! Act now before it is too late!

Invest in Micro$oft today and get a free gas mask! LONG LIVE STEVE BALLMER!And always remember…

 

Linux Car Crashes

According to this article, a bunch of Linux geeks actually spent loads of money to sponsor a “Linux Car” in the Indianapolis 500! When I first saw the article, I couldn’t believe it. Surely they’re not stupid enough to think its going to help them get more users. I mean, the car was the first to crash in the race and came in last place. Is that supposed to get them more users? Clearly Linux has drivers issues. Besides, who would ever want to use an operating system maintained by a community. Seriously, this whole Linux thing is being to freak me out.

Why Silverlight Is Not Available For Linux

If you don’t know what Silverlight is then check out this post.

I can’t believe I’m going to even bother to explain this one. Its obvious. Do you know a single Linux user who isn’t a geek? Do you know a single one that would even think of playing an online game?

Also, if they want to use it then they’ll just decompile the Windows plugin and make their own plugin for Linux anyways. Even if we released a Silverlight plugin, they would just try to make their own plugin because the Microsoft one isn’t “Open Source”. Linux users are just a queer group of gtarded freeks that aren’t accepted in society.