Microsoft Word Blonde Edition

We’ve got a big announcement for you today. After years of research and development that cost billions of dollars, today we’re proud to introduce a new, revolutionary, and innovative product: Microsoft Word For Blondes Edition.

Leopard Easter Egg

I just found this easter egg on my a friend’s computer running Leopard. 

Thats it! We’re suing!

Picture Of The Week: Great Disasters Of The World

Video Of The Week: Computers Of The Future

If this doesn’t convince you to get a Microsoft Surface, then I don’t know what will…

First spotted here…

Sorry About The Outburst

I’m sorry about yesterday’s post. I have certain medical conditions (ADD, ADHD, etc, etc…) that sometimes disrupt my normal behavior. I have medication, but I was busy with some Vista stuff yesterday and I forgot to take it.

I asked around, and it seems that I’m not the only one at Micro$oft with these problems. Steve Ballmer also has severe ADHD (and several other psychological issues that I probably shouldn’t talk about), and over 34% of all Micro$oft employees have- at the very least- mild ADD. (Perhaps this is due to the original job requirements for Micro$oft; But thats a whole other story for another time)

Anyway, I’ve created a new special division at Micro$oft called the BDDHD (Behavior Disrupting Disorders Help Division). The division will be responsible for making sure that everyone stays in control and takes their meds. They also- Sorry but I have to go. My nurse is here, and she says its time.

I’m Busy Go Away

There’s nothing to read here. Move along. I’m busy. Go away already. I’ll update this blog sometime soon. Come back later.

Are you still reading this? You shouldn’t be. Stop it.I’m not even writing anything intelligent. There’s nothing worth reading here. I’m busy making billions of dollars. I can’t waste my time blogging right now.

Go away. I can’t believe you’re actually reading this. You are so lame. Do you have any friends? Even one? You suck! You’re a loser! You’re a gtard! You’re also a moron!

Windows Vista Is Everywhere

There’s been yet another Windows Vista sighting. Check it out:

Source

If Microsoft Made Your Car

If Microsoft was a car company, then cars today would be much more advanced. Here’s a list of the ten awesome features that your car would have if it was made by Microsoft.

Vista Is Everywhere

UPDATE: Apparently Vista is also powering the Space Station’s computer system.

The demand for Vista is just amazing. We’re selling tens of dozens of copies monthly. In China alone we’ve sold 244 copies. Vista is simply everywhere. Its running on Russian ATMs

Its running on kiddy carts in the US.

It is just everywhere. Maybe its time that you put it on your computer.

The Zune Fan Base

Yesterday I was talking to a reporter from the New York times about the Zune. I’m going to pay him to write a big review praising the Zune as an iPod Killer. The problem is that many iPod users just don’t realize how big of a success the Zune has been, and why they should switch. Anyways, the Zune has a large fan base (due to the millions we spent on hiring bloggers), and the love is just pouring in. We’re receiving hundreds of emails daily from users who are having technical difficulties and want their money back love the Zune. Check out this dedicated fan (note how happy he looks):

 Source